We all get angry sometimes. Yet, certain people seem to be constantly irritated and upset, while the rest of us may feel angry once in a while but can usually move on quickly without dwelling on it for too long.
Why are some men always so angry? What could be causing this extreme irritability? Is there anything they can do about it?
Well, if you or someone that you know has fallen into the habit of being constantly angered over little things, then continue reading to learn possible causes and remedies.
About 8% of Americans experience Anger Attacks during their lives [1]. The most important thing is not whether you are one of them, but what kind of habits have triggered your anger and how to control your temper.
Anger is anger, and many different things can trigger it.
Some potential causes of why men get angry include negative personality traits, mental health problems, specific situations or events, reactions to other people’s behavior, medical conditions not linked with mental illness, substance abuse/misuse, and life changes.
There are also some things that you can do to help control your anger. It is important to note that anger itself is not bad. It can be a helpful emotion when it’s used in the right way. The problem arises when men let their anger get out of control, and it negatively affects their lives.
If you can learn to control your anger, it can help you become a stronger and more confident man.
Here are 10 tips for controlling your anger:
The things that make you angry. For example, maybe someone cutting in front of you in line makes you mad because it’s disrespectful and shows a lack of consideration for other people.
Then, try to avoid or remove yourself from those situations whenever possible. After all, do you need to go to the store if it’s going to frustrate you to wait in line?
What sets you off?
Once you know what your triggers are, you can be more prepared for them.
While you can’t avoid all of your triggers, you can learn to deal with them if they come up.
For instance, if waiting at the doctor’s office always makes you angry because it seems like they make you wait for hours on end, making you lose your valuable time, find a different doctor’s office or go online and make an appointment for the same day.
You could also try to think of ways to relax and calm yourself before and after those situations. You could even take deep breaths or listen to some calm music to better prepare you to encounter your triggers without getting too wound up.
Instead of getting mad each time that happens (which is probably not good for your blood pressure), try to bring a book, your notebook, read, or something else that you find calming and distracting.
Take a “time-out.”
If you feel your anger level rising, leave the situation that is making you angry, even if just for a few minutes, to calm down before doing or saying anything that may be harmful or hurtful.
Leave the room, take a few deep breaths, drink some water, or do whatever it takes to calm yourself down. This is especially helpful if you’re in a heated argument or discussion with someone.
If you’re at home, then you can leave the room. If you’re in public, try to find a private place like an empty restroom where no one will disturb you.
Remember, anger management is not about controlling your emotions all of the time but learning how to handle them when they get out of control.
Try to change your body language so you can relax a bit.
Take slow, deep breaths and if your muscles are tense, try to relax them by slowly moving your head from side to side or gently rolling your shoulders.
You shouldn’t lash out at someone else when you’re angry. That’s only going to make the situation worse and increase your stress. Even if you’re not saying anything, just storming off or glaring at someone can be hurtful.
Instead, try walking away from the person or group, making you angry so that you don’t do or say anything that will have repercussions later on.
Calm yourself with breathing techniques.
Try using something called the “4-7-8” method of breathing when you are getting upset. Inhale for four seconds, hold your breath for seven seconds, and then exhale slowly for eight seconds.
This will help calm your body and mind and can be especially helpful if you’re in the middle of an argument.
This breathing technique is used by men who have to give presentations or talks because it helps them feel less nervous.
Another option is to breathe deeply with no pattern. Just take deep, slow breaths until you feel better. The key is to ensure that each time you inhale, you are filling up both your stomach area and your chest so that every part of your lungs are being used.
If you’re in a public place and breathing profoundly makes you feel embarrassed, then you can try to breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth.
Calming yourself down before an angry outburst will not only help you avoid saying something that you’ll regret, but it can also prevent a full-blown argument from happening.
Count to 10.
This is a very old trick that works! It takes a little bit of time and effort, but counting to 10 can help you calm down and clear your head before doing or saying anything you may regret.
If you’re in the middle of an argument with someone, take a break and count to 10. If you’re about to blow up at someone, count to 10 first.
It’s essential to take a calm, deep breath and let it out slowly as you count.
And remember – counting to 10 is not a replacement for dealing with your anger in a healthy, constructive way. It’s only meant to be a temporary fix until you can get yourself under control.
Talk about your feelings.
This one takes courage, but it can be beneficial.
Talking about how you’re feeling can help you vent and may even help you get a better understanding of why you’re getting so angry in the first place.
When you’re able to put your feelings into words, it makes them feel more manageable and less like a vast, overwhelming force.
It can also help talk to someone who will listen without judging or trying to fix the problem.
You don’t need to talk to just anyone, either – finding a therapist or counselor may be a good option if you find that talking to friends or family members doesn’t help.
Expressing yourself honestly and openly is a key part of anger management. Bottling up your emotions will only make them build up over time and may lead to an explosive outburst.
Talking about how you feel with someone you trust can help relieve some of the tension and allow you to deal with your anger more healthily.
Try journaling or writing out your thoughts and feelings regularly as a way to express yourself.
If you find that talking about your feelings is not enough and it seems like the anger is overtaking you and causing problems in your life, then it’s crucial to seek professional help.
Anger is a natural human emotion that we all experience at one time or another. However, when anger gets out of control and starts causing problems in our lives, it’s time to do something about it.
Take care of your mind and body.
When we’re angry, sometimes our first instinct is to lash out or strike back at those who may or may not deserve it.
However, anger only makes the situation worse and can leave you feeling exhausted and drained afterward – and sometimes even guilty or ashamed!
It’s essential to try and take care of yourself mentally and physically when you’re feeling angry.
Exercise is a great way to release tension and stress, so try to fit in a good workout at least a few times a week.
If you can’t get to the gym, then go for a walk or run. If you’re outraged, try doing something that’s physically demanding, like boxing or kickboxing.
Another way to take care of yourself is by eating healthy foods.
Make sure you’re getting enough protein and nutrients, especially if you’re feeling stressed out. Try changing up your diet by eating foods with plenty of protein and fats and avoiding sugars. Protein helps maintain serotonin levels in the body which will make you feel less anxious overall.
And finally, make sure you’re getting enough sleep.
Anger can be exhausting, so get as much rest as you can.
When you’re feeling angry, it’s crucial to find a healthy outlet to express those feelings. This may be different for everyone, but some ideas include exercise, writing, talking to a therapist, or meditating.
Don’t take it personally.
Often when you get angry, you are taking the actions of other people too personally. Pointing fingers and feeling like it’s always someone else’s fault is not going to solve anything.
Remind yourself that not everything is about you, and try to take a step back and look at the situation objectively.
This can be hard to do, but it’s an important step in learning how to deal with your anger healthily.
When you’re able to take a step back from the situation and see it from another’s perspective, you’ll feel less angry and have a better chance of communicating your feelings calmly and constructively.
Channel your anger in a positive way
Do something active and constructive when you feel angry instead of just sitting around stewing in your negative emotions.
For example, if things are not going your way at work, channel your anger by working on a project that you’re passionate about outside of work. Maybe you’ve always wanted to take a painting class; now’s the time! Or perhaps you want to get started on that book you’ve been meaning to write.
Doing something active and constructive is a great way to deal with your anger so that it doesn’t build up over time.
Remember, there are healthier ways of dealing with your anger than lashing out or resorting to violence.
If you argue with a coworker, try leaving it alone for the day and speaking to them about the problem later when you’ve both had time to cool off.
The key is to find something that will help you release the anger in a positive way rather than keeping it bottled up inside.
Don’t hold grudges.
You’ve probably heard this one before, but it’s true: resentment is never good for your overall mood and health.
If someone has done something to make you angry, forgive them, let it go, and move on with your life.
Don’t go over the situation in your mind time after time, trying to figure out what you could’ve done differently or how you can get back at the other person.
This will only be counterproductive, and it will drag you down.
If you tend to hold on to anger for a long time, this could be one reason why. We all know that holding onto grudges is not healthy and only makes the situation worse, so try to let go of any feelings of resentment.
This can be easier said than done, but it’s important to try your best so that things don’t snowball out of control. Sometimes trying to find a way to forgive those who have wronged you can help too.
Forgiveness isn’t saying what they did was okay – it just means that you’re choosing not to carry around negative emotions as well as letting go of the past.
Remember, forgiving someone doesn’t mean forgetting everything that has happened or condoning their actions. It means that you are choosing to move on.
Keep yourself busy.
It can be difficult but try not to sit around with too much time on your hands. When you have nothing going on, that’s when your mind starts wandering, which can result in dwelling on things that may have happened earlier in the day.
If you’re busy, then you’re less likely to have time to dwell on things that may have made you angry.
This doesn’t mean you should over-schedule yourself and be so busy that you don’t have any time for yourself, but try to find a healthy balance.
Anger can sometimes be a signal that we’re feeling overwhelmed or stressed. We don’t have time to sit around and dwell on our negative emotions when we’re busy.
Try to keep yourself busy with things that you enjoy, whether seeing friends, going to the movies, or reading a good book. This will help take your mind off of things and allow you to relax a bit.
Conclusion.
You don’t have to go through life angry all the time. The problem is that we’re not really telling ourselves to stop but instead giving our brain an order, which it reacts by trying to obey.
This doesn’t work because anger isn’t something you can just turn on and off with a snap of your fingers or dictate without taking into account what’s happening in your life at the moment.
The 10 tips listed in this article are a great place to start, but you may have to experiment a bit to see what works best for you. There are also books on the market about anger management and how to deal with difficult emotions, like Anger Management Workbook for Men, The Cognitive Behavioral Workbook for Anger, and Instant Anger Management.
If, after trying your best to deal with these issues and you feel like you’re still having problems, it wouldn’t hurt to see a therapist or speak with someone professionally trained to help. Dealing with anger can be difficult, but it’s important to remember that you’re not alone, and some people can help.
Have you found any techniques that help reduce your feelings of anger? What have been the biggest challenges for you when it comes to anger management? Where do you think you should start? Share your thoughts in the comments section below!
Joanna Perez is a Certified Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Practitioner, a passionate blogger, writer, traveler, wife, and mother of one boy. Joanna loves to share her thoughts on parenting, health, wellness, and lifestyle.
She is a Certified Women Empowerment Life Coach and has done courses on Life Mastery, Happiness, Health, and Success. She also has studied Neuroscience for Parents and took the Skilled Helper Training Course.
She believes in helping people become the best version of themselves and strives to provide quality informative and inspiring content. She loves animals, especially her two cats, and can often be found taking photos of them as they pose for the camera.