When it comes to understanding women, men are at a loss. Women say the darndest things, which are often lost in translation. We all know about “just friends” or “it’s complicated,” but there are other phrases that might not be as well known – here are 10 crazy phrases women always say that men don’t get!
“I’m not mad; I’m just disappointed.”
When a woman says this to a man, she’s usually furious. This is a way for her to express that she’s upset without going into the details of how he let her down. It could be anything from disappointing plans or forgetting to pick up milk, but she doesn’t want him to know how much it means to her.
Why women say it:
Women want their men to know when they’re angry but don’t necessarily feel comfortable saying so directly. They will often use these phrases as shorthand instead, which serves as an opportunity for him to recognize what she really means by stating something else entirely in return.
Why men don’t get it:
Men often take things at face value and don’t understand when a woman is trying to communicate indirectly. When they hear “I’m not mad,” they usually assume that she is, in fact, not upset when this may be far from the truth. If he doesn’t respond to what she’s trying to say, she will end up getting even more upset.
What men should say:
“I know you’re disappointed, and I’m sorry. Let’s talk about it later when we’ve both calmed down, and we can work it out together.”
“I’m sorry I let you down. Can we talk about what happened and how to make it up to you?”
“What are you, five?”
When a woman says this to a man, it’s usually in response to something that she thinks is incredibly childish or naïve. It could be anything from his choice of clothing to his behavior, but she’s indicating that she believes he could do better. She is not impressed.
Why women say it:
Women want men to be more mature and take themselves seriously. They don’t want them to act like children or be too afraid to express themselves.
Why men don’t get it:
Men often take things too personally when a woman criticizes them. They might not understand why she’s saying it, or they might feel like they’re being attacked. When they hear “What are you, five?” they assume that she’s saying that he is acting like a child and not taking responsibility for the situation at hand. This can lead to a man feeling insecure and embarrassed.
What men should say:
“I understand that you’re trying to make a point, but I don’t appreciate it when you speak to me that way. Let’s try and discuss this more constructively.”
“I know I can do better, and I will try to improve. Thank you for bringing this to my attention.”
“Can we talk?”
When a woman says this, it usually means that she’s not happy and would like to discuss the issue with her man. It could be anything from talking about their relationship to needing help with a problem she’s having at work.
When a woman says this, the man should be afraid. He knows he’s about to get chewed out for whatever he did wrong- whether it was intentional or not- and there are no excuses for his behavior. Except for one: apologize immediately.
Why women say it:
Women want to communicate with their men and need a man who is willing to listen. They don’t want him to brush off what they say or make excuses when he has done something wrong. They want an open dialogue where both people can express how they feel and come to a resolution.
Women don’t want to have long, drawn-out conversations when they are upset with their men, but sometimes all it takes is for him to understand how his actions made her feel in order for him to change his behavior in the future.
Why men don’t get it:
Men often see this as a precursor to a fight and try to avoid it at all costs. They would rather not deal with the conflict than have to listen to their partner criticize them for what they did wrong. When a woman says, “Can we talk?” it usually means that she’s already upset, and he’s about to hear all about it, whether he likes it or not.
What men should say:
“Ok, let’s talk.”
“Yes, we can talk. What’s on your mind?”
“I’m sorry, I was just trying to help.”
When a woman says this to a man, she’s usually not sorry at all. She means that she knows what she did was wrong, but she doesn’t want the man to get mad at her for it.
This phrase often comes after the woman has meddled in his business or tried to tell him what to do, and he’s understandably upset. She’s not really apologizing. She’s reminding him that she knows best.
Why women say it:
Women can sometimes get carried away with trying to help their men and end up doing the wrong thing. When they know they’ve overstepped their bounds, there’s no point in getting him even more riled up by arguing with him about it. She would rather apologize and hope he’ll forgive her.
Women often feel the need to take care of their men and make sure they’re making good decisions. They don’t always think about how it makes him feel when she tries to run his life for him, especially if he is perfectly capable of taking care of himself.
Why men don’t get it:
Men often don’t understand that the woman is apologizing for overstepping her bounds and feels terrible about it. In turn, he gets even angrier at her for apologizing and trying to justify her behavior. If she really wanted to apologize, all the woman needs is a quick “I’m sorry.” There’s no need to try and explain herself further. But women don’t always know when to stop talking, which leads to more conflict.
What men should say:
“Thank you for apologizing; I forgive you.”
“I appreciate that you want to help, but I can take care of myself. Next time, please ask before you try to fix things.”
“You’re so manly!”
When a woman says this to her man, she’s usually not being genuine. There is probably another adjective she would have rather used but was too afraid of hurting his feelings to say it out loud. When a woman says this to a guy, she’s usually being sarcastic. What she really means is that he’s acting like a jerk, and she’s hoping he’ll take the hint.
Why women say it:
Women often get frustrated with men when they act like idiots and don’t seem to understand what’s going on. This phrase is her way of telling him that he needs to start acting like a grown-up if he wants her to take him seriously.
When women are around guys who are being childish and immature, it can be annoying. They want him to take responsibility for his actions and stop acting like he’s still in middle school.
Why men don’t get it:
Men often think that this is a compliment, but they fail to realize that she thinks he’s being childish and immature. It can cause even more frustration when they act like they don’t understand what she’s trying to say and continue being a jerk.
What men should say:
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to act like that.”
“I’ll try to act more mature from now on.”
“That’s not what happened!”
When a woman says this after being caught red-handed doing something wrong, the man should be worried. She’s not telling him that he is mistaken about whatever shady thing she did; she’s telling him that he’s wrong about her. She doesn’t want him to think poorly of her, and she’ll do whatever it takes to make sure that he doesn’t.
Why women say it:
Women don’t want men to think that they’re liars or untrustworthy, and they will go to great lengths to make sure that their man believes them. They also want to make sure that they don’t get in trouble for what they did, even if it was wrong.
Women do not want to be seen as the bad guy, especially when they’ve done something that shows them in a negative light. They will try to shift the blame to the man or make up some excuse for why they did what they did to lessen the severity of the situation. Sometimes this means denying something even when it’s obvious she is guilty or downplaying whatever shady thing she did, so it sounds less bad than it really was.
Why men don’t get it:
Men are often confused by this phrase because it doesn’t make much sense. If she denies something, why can’t she admit to it instead of trying to make up some other excuse? Men don’t understand why women would rather lie than taking responsibility for what they did. They think she should own up to what happened and be done with it.
What men should say:
“I don’t care what you were trying to do; it’s still wrong, and I don’t want you to do it again.”
“I’m not mad at you, so don’t try and make up some excuse; just tell me the truth.”
“Is this what you really want?”
When a woman says this, it usually means that she doesn’t want him to do whatever he is suggesting, but she’s trying to make it seem like he has a choice. Usually, the man can see right through her trickery and isn’t falling for it, but sometimes he does, and then she gets what she wants.
Why women say it:
Women use this phrase to try and get their way. They give men the impression that they’re giving them a choice when really he doesn’t have one. She’s telling her man, “I don’t want you to do this, but if you really want to, then go ahead.”
This phrase is used as a way of manipulation. Women know that men like to feel like they’re in control and have a choice in things, so by using this phrase, she’s able to get them to do what she wants.
Women use this phrase when they think that men are being stubborn or don’t want to admit they’re wrong. By using this phrase, she’s not calling him stubborn or saying that he’s wrong; she’s giving him an option to do what she wants.
Why men don’t get it:
When a woman says this, the man usually takes it as a sign that she’s willing to compromise and work things out. He thinks that she’s finally admitting that he’s right about whatever it is they’re arguing over.
What men should say:
“I don’t want to do this if you don’t want to do it.”
“I understand that you’re not ready, but when will be the right time for you?”
“I want what makes you happy.”
“You’re overreacting.”
When a woman uses this phrase, she’s trying to tell the man that he’s overreacting and that whatever it is he’s upset about is not a big deal. She’s saying that she thinks he is overreacting and acting like an idiot, even though the situation at hand might be serious.
When a woman says this, it’s usually to make the other person feel like they are being dramatic and unreasonable, even if what they are saying has merit. She doesn’t want him to feel like he is justified in his anger or upset, and she’s doing everything she can to try and talk him out of it.
Why women say it:
Women use this phrase as a way of dismissing the man’s feelings and making him feel like he’s overreacting. They know that if they can make him feel like he’s being ridiculous, then he’ll be more likely to calm down and not fight back.
Women generally want to avoid conflict, and they know that the quickest way to do this is by diffusing the situation. When a woman tells her man that he’s overreacting, she’s trying to get him to calm down without actually having to hear him out.
Why men don’t get it:
Men are often confused by this phrase because they think they might be overreacting. They think that maybe the woman is right, and they’re just making a big deal out of nothing.
What men should say:
I know you think I’m overreacting, but this is something that’s upsetting me, and I want to talk about it.”
“I know you don’t want to have this conversation, but I think we need to.”
“You’re not being fair.”
When a woman says this, she usually knows her man is correct, but she doesn’t want to admit it.
She’s trying to say that she knows he’s right, but she doesn’t think it’s fair that he’s winning the argument.
This phrase is often used as a last resort because the woman knows that if she uses it, her man will probably stop trying to fight with her and just let it go.
Why women say it:
When a woman says this, she’s usually giving her man a chance just to let things go. She knows he’s angry and upset, but she doesn’t want the argument to continue.
Women use this phrase because they don’t want to keep fighting. They feel like if they can give their men the chance to back down, then things will be ok for now, and there won’t be another argument later.
Why men don’t get it:
When a woman says this, the man thinks that she is admitting that he’s right or that she didn’t have a good argument. He feels that if she were smarter, she would be able to come up with a better comeback than this one.
What men should say:
“I know you think I’m overreacting. Can we talk about this more?”
“I don’t want to fight either, but we need to finish this.”
“It’s complicated.”
When a woman says, “it’s complicated,” what she means is that she doesn’t want to talk about it. She wants you to stop asking her questions and let the subject drop. If you try to push it, she will get angry at you.
When a woman says this, she’s not interested in having a conversation with you. She’s just trying to let you down easy. It usually means that the man is right. She’s basically telling him not to argue with her because she doesn’t want to fight anymore, and he has already won.
The only time women will use this phrase is if they feel like there isn’t much point in arguing about something because their men will win anyway. They might as well give up now rather than prolong the argument.
Why women say it:
When a woman says this, she’s trying to end the conversation. She knows that she can’t win, and she doesn’t want to argue with her man anymore. Women will say this as a way of letting their men know that they’ve given up and they don’t want to keep talking about it.
Why men don’t get it:
When a man hears this, he thinks she’s saying that she was wrong or that he won the argument. He feels that if they keep talking about it, she might admit that he was right and she was wrong. But women never want to admit that they’re wrong.
What men should say:
“I know this is hard for you to talk about.”
“I feel like I didn’t give you enough time to explain yourself.”
Conclusion.
We hope this blog post was helpful! These are some of the most common phrases that women use to try and end an argument, but men don’t always understand what they mean. If you’re in a relationship with a woman, it’s essential to know what these phrases mean so that you can respond appropriately. Thanks for reading!
Do you know other ones? Let us know in the comments below!
Marcella Raskin is a passionate and articulate writer who has dedicated her life to studying human potential. She has studied Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Life Purpose Coaching, Group Life Coaching. She loves helping women (and men) explore themselves through writing, which allows for an exploration into one’s thoughts on entrepreneurship or personal development topics such as mindset-shaping techniques that can positively shape someone’s perspectives about themselves when they don’t think it could ever happen! She practices sports and has studied Exercise Physiology. She is married and the mother of two girls.