Being a man is hard. It is not only the physical demands on our bodies that cause emotional and mental strain. We are constantly being told to be tough, strong, stoic, and sometimes even violent. But what if this isn’t what we want out of life? What if there was another way? What if you could live your best life as a man? This blog post will give you ten tips on how to do just that!
Set some realistic goals.
The first step to getting anything done is knowing what you want to do. This may seem obvious, but it’s incredible how many men are just drifting through life with no purpose or direction.
Of course, this doesn’t mean you have to know everything about your future right at this moment – but it does mean that having some goal in mind will give you an idea of where you’re going and why.
Having goals is essential for your mental health and getting things done, but they’re also important for other people. If you have a purpose – or even some vague ideas – of what you want out of life, it will help others (friends, family, etc.) understand where you’re coming from and why you do the things you do.
Ask for help.
If you cannot set goals yourself, ask a friend or family member for advice and guidance. That way, you can establish milestones that will keep you focused and moving forward in the right direction.
However, don’t get so wrapped up in your goals that you lose sight of what matters – creating a life worth living!
Your goals should be realistic.
Having goals will help you become more proactive in pursuing your dreams and desires rather than just letting life happen to you. It’s also vital that the goals you set are realistic. Don’t expect to become a professional basketball player if you’re 5’3″. You’ll only disappoint yourself and lead a much less fulfilling life if you don’t reach your goals.
Once you have your goals written down, make sure to check in on them every once in a while. This will help you re-engage with your long-term plan and stay focused on what’s important to you.
Nevertheless, don’t be afraid of changing your goals when you need to! Sometimes life throws us curveballs, and we need to adapt quickly. Sometimes we need to change our direction entirely. Don’t be afraid of starting over or shifting your goals to benefit you the most.
Treat yourself well.
It’s easy for us as men to treat ourselves poorly; perhaps we’re too harsh on ourselves, or maybe there are some bad habits (drugs/alcohol abuse, eating junk food, etc.) that we engage in without thinking twice about the consequences. These things can lead to guilt at best and a feeling of being worthless at worst.
Don’t let this happen to you! Treating yourself well means being honest with yourself, but it will pay off greatly later on.
Ask yourself what kind of life you want to live.
Be honest and think about the person you are now instead of who you would like to become. If there is a disconnect between these two people, the only way to bridge the gap is by treating yourself better.
You can treat yourself well in many ways: eating healthier foods, engaging in more physical activity, keeping a cleaner living space, spending time with friends and family, etc. Of course, if one area needs improvement, then focus your energies there first, but remember that it’s essential to treat yourself well in every aspect of your life.
Identify your bad habits.
To start treating yourself better, you must be aware of your bad habits. This won’t be easy at first because it may mean that you have to re-evaluate some of your fundamental beliefs about what’s acceptable in your life. Be prepared for this change, and keep in mind that with time comes progress!
Once you have identified your bad habits, develop a strategy for breaking them. For example, if you’re struggling with eating healthier, then perhaps setting small goals (eating one fruit/vegetable per day) will help get you started on the right track. Just remember that small changes can make significant differences in your life!
You will also need to reward yourself for achieving your goals. Being happy with what you’ve done so far is important, so pat yourself on the back every now and then!
Be present in your own life.
As men, we tend to focus on the outcome of our efforts rather than enjoying the actual process. We’re always thinking about what will happen when we get X done and not taking time out of our day to just be.
This can lead to us feeling dissatisfied with our lives because we aren’t living them – we’re observing it from afar as though it’s happening to someone else. This is highly counterproductive because you won’t enjoy what you do if you don’t pay attention while you’re doing it!
It’s easy to get caught up in abstract thinking or daydreams when we should be focused on our lives right now.
We’re all guilty of this from time to time, but it can take a severe toll on our mental health if we spend too much time dwelling on past experiences or worrying about things that haven’t happened yet.
When you find that you’re thinking about the past or future rather than the present, try to bring yourself back into the moment by asking yourself one simple question: “What am I doing right now?”
If you find yourself in a negative state of mind, try your best to snap out of it. This may not be easy at the beginning, but it will become easier over time. We mustn’t beat ourselves up when we have a momentary lapse in concentration. Everyone is only human, after all!
The important thing is that we give ourselves the time to think about what’s essential to us; We don’t want unimportant things taking up our precious time.
How to live in the moment?
So, how do we learn how to live in the moment? Practice mindfulness.
Take notice of your surroundings and put your full attention into whatever task you decide to part on.
If you’re eating, notice the taste of your food and appreciate the sensations in your body.
If you’re listening to music, try focusing on each instrument separately; this will make you feel more present in the song rather than just passively listening to it.
You might be surprised how much pleasure you can get from simple things when you really pay attention!
Don’t be afraid of failure.
Everybody fails sometimes, and it’s okay to fail! Failing means that we’re pushing ourselves out of our comfort zone and trying something new; if we never tried, then we’d never fail, but we wouldn’t achieve much either because we would always play it safe.
Of course, there’s a difference between failure and negligence (i.e., not putting in any effort). Suppose you failed your test because you didn’t study for it. In that case, this indicates neglecting your responsibility which can often lead to more serious problems down the road (i.e., running into some trouble with the law or failing one class after another).
Think about a time when you failed at something, but this didn’t stop you from achieving success later on! This event does not have to define who you are; instead, treat it as a learning experience that makes you stronger. Many people achieve their greatest successes AFTER having failed before!
Learn from your failures.
When you try something new and fail, take the opportunity to reflect and learn from the situation. You need to understand why you failed and what you can do to correct the problem in the future.
After all, even Walt Disney was fired from a newspaper for lack of ideas: obviously, he bounced back quickly!
Try new things, fail if you must but do your best to learn from your mistakes because it’s through these failures that you will grow stronger.
This doesn’t mean you should be reckless with your life, but rather you should know that there’s nothing wrong with trying new things. So go ahead and get started on something new; be unstoppable!
Know what makes you happy.
Everybody is unique in the way they define happiness, but there are some common themes to keep in mind while searching for this feeling:
- Some people find happiness in helping others (i.e., volunteering).
- Others find it by participating in physical activities that put their body under stress (i.e., weight lifting or sports).
- Still, others find it in their relationships with friends or family.
It’s important to know what makes you happy because it can often help provide direction in life.
If you aren’t happy with your present situation, take a look at what you enjoy doing and think about how you could be doing more of it.
We are our worst critics.
It’s essential to find things in our lives that bring us genuine happiness because when we’re unhappy, we can often be our worst critics.
If you find yourself in a negative state of mind, think about what brings you happiness and do more of it! This doesn’t mean you should drop everything and start doing whatever brings you joy (e.g., getting high all day or building pillow forts in your living room). It means finding out what does bring happiness into your life. Free up some time so that you can dedicate yourself to things that matter most to you!
Be happy with who you are.
When you are happy with yourself and what you’re doing, it’s incredible how many things start to fall into place; people want to be around positive individuals, after all!
You can’t control everything in your life, so the important thing is not to let minor setbacks get in the way of achieving happiness. For example, if your favorite team loses after coming so close to winning, don’t let it ruin your mood! Instead, focus on other aspects in your life that provide positivity: i.e., a delicious meal prepared by someone close to you, a phone call from a loved one, etc.
Being happy with who you are and what you do will provide an internal sense of peace and satisfaction that no material possessions can bring. For this reason alone, happiness should be the number one priority in every man’s life!
By knowing what makes us happy, we can work towards achieving goals related to these areas of interest (i.e., taking up a physical fitness regimen), which ultimately provides us with an increased feeling of self-worth and contentedness!
Know your worth, but also the value of others.
Every man has value. Although our society may often portray celebrities, athletes, or people with enormous wealth as more important than the average person, this isn’t the case! Remember that just because somebody is famous doesn’t mean they are better than you are.
Celebrities are human beings too, and their success should only serve to inspire you rather than make you feel inadequate or worthless.
Everybody can contribute to society somehow; it doesn’t matter what your career goals are; there’s something out there for every man to do! Maybe you’ll become a teacher or work towards publishing a novel. Who knows? The world needs people like you too!
A driving force.
We can use our self-worth as a driving force that pushes us toward achieving our goals and finding out more about who we are as individuals. Focus on finding positive things in your life and treating others with kindness rather than trying to impress them with material items such as fancy cars or clothes.
As men of honor, one of our most important assets is empathy: treat everyone with respect and concern because they may be going through something you are unaware of.
You never know what is happening in someone else’s life, but thinking about the feelings and emotions of others, can make them feel at least a little bit better during their hard times!
A man knows when he has done well in his own eyes.
Don’t let anyone walk all over you and treat you as if you have less value than them because the truth of the matter is that every man has a great deal to offer.
You are an individual that needs to be respected because of who you are, not what you have. Having money or other resources should never be used as a means for self-promotion.
Money is important in life, but it can’t buy happiness, so don’t let your ego get the better of you!
Learn to know your value while also being aware of how other people may perceive you. You needn’t strive for perfection but rather work towards being the best version of yourself in your own particular way.
All of us were brought into this world by someone else: whether it be our mothers and fathers, the women who provided the egg cells to be fertilized, or even God himself…. we’re here because of someone’s contribution! This is why men need to know their worth and that of others: everybody has something unique to contribute to society, and we should appreciate these contributions rather than take them for granted. We wouldn’t exist without them after all!
You can do your part by helping those in need, even if it’s just a simple smile to cheer someone up. You can also help others by being more giving of your time and resources in general.
Many people in this world have far less than you do, so the least you can do is lend them a helping hand when you can!
For example, when homeless individuals ask for change on the street corner or for spare food at a shelter, it’s easy to turn them down because there’s always another person behind them waiting to take their spot. However, refusing these requests takes a lot more from a person asking for help than the one refusing to give it! A refusal is essentially saying that you have more worth than they do.
This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t defend yourself when faced with danger, of course! But, in general, try to refrain from using your power or skills to intimidate others because it can breed hatred between people that isn’t needed.
Everyone has their own talents and skills, so don’t put others down for something you feel is beneath you because it can damage relationships and even cause strife between friends and family members.
The truth is that we all need each other to survive, so always try to give due respect to those around you. None of us are as strong as all of us!
Be a gentleman.
A true gentleman treats everyone with respect and as an equal, no matter how others may choose to show themselves.
Empathy, trustworthiness, and respect are qualities that make all men better, not just for themselves but for society as a whole!
To be a true gentleman is to treat everyone the way you’d like them to treat you; this includes respecting women and showing chivalry by opening doors and pulling out chairs. There has been too much backsliding in these areas with some men: we need to show our mothers, sisters, wives, and daughters that they deserve the utmost respect at all times!
Being chivalrous isn’t about giving women special treatment; it’s simply about trying to be a good person who respects the rights of others. And if anyone doesn’t appreciate your efforts, simply ignore them because they are not worth your time!
Don’t make assumptions.
This doesn’t mean you have to let everyone walk all over you, just that you will do better not to exacerbate the situation with your bad behavior.
This also means that you should never assume that a woman is weaker than yourself simply because she is female. Women are just as strong as men, but they use their strength differently because of the way they’re physically structured!
It’s also important that a gentleman never automatically assumes that just because someone is weaker than him, he can take advantage! Some men think women are vulnerable compared to them, so they feel entitled to do whatever they want without consequence. This is unacceptable behavior and not something a gentleman would ever do.
Remember that you can be as masculine as you want, but there’s no reason why this should interfere with your ability to treat others with respect!
Be open to new experiences.
One of the hallmarks of maturity is openness to new things and people, so be open-minded.
This doesn’t mean you should believe everything you hear without question because there are some truly crazy ideas out there! But, if someone has a unique experience that they want to share with you, then at least try to listen.
You can always refuse to accept it afterward but don’t just dismiss it out of hand without giving it an honest chance! We all know how valuable our opinions can seem in our minds, so maybe this time, someone else has something important to say too.
The world is a fascinating place, and there’s always something new to experience! Whether traveling somewhere completely new or learning a new skill, life can be even more enjoyable when you’re trying out something for the first time.
Open your mind.
A thriving life is about learning new things, so keep an open mind when it comes to novel situations! It’s okay to feel apprehensive at first because you don’t know what to expect; however, you mustn’t let your apprehension prevent future opportunities from manifesting themselves.
If there are things in life that scare you, overcome them by taking one step at a time until they’re no longer an issue for you anymore!
For example, you could start small by keeping your mind open to new things like trying out foods you’ve never tried or making small talk with people you don’t know.
It might feel unnatural at first, but the more you do it, the easier it becomes because it simply becomes part of who you are!
It’s just like anything else in life: the more you do it, the easier it becomes!
Accept responsibility for your actions and your life.
If you’re ever tempted to blame your problems on anything else, think about this: real men take responsibility for their actions.
We all make mistakes, but it’s what we do afterward that defines us as people. Don’t try to deflect the blame onto anyone else because it won’t change what you did wrong! You can’t go through life trying to convince yourself that other people are the reason behind your screw-ups; sooner or later, reality will come crashing down around you, and things will only get worse from there!
Be a man and take responsibility for your own life before bad habits start to sink in and ruin everything. This doesn’t mean being so hard on yourself that you become depressed when things don’t go well.
It’s natural to make mistakes because nobody is perfect. But, if you continue to make the same mistake over and over again, then it becomes a pattern of behavior that needs to be addressed!
The only way for this kind of behavior to stop is for you to take responsibility and face facts: You need to figure out what you’re doing wrong and change your ways. You cannot just ignore the problem and hope it will magically disappear; this type of thinking is immature and irresponsible.
If someone gives you feedback about how you behave, listen before writing them off as an “enemy” or someone who can’t be trusted. This person may simply want the best for you, so open yourself up to their criticism!
A man is aware of the consequences of his decisions and doesn’t make excuses or blame others for what happens in his life. He doesn’t get carried away by emotions such as lust, greed, pride, etc., because he knows he must keep himself under control at all times. Sometimes it’s best to swallow one’s pride rather than allow it to damage relationships with friends and family members: nothing good can ever come from letting your ego and emotions take over completely!
Surround yourself with good people.
As you go through life, don’t be afraid to let certain people enter your inner circle. You’ll come across those who bring nothing but negativity, and this will harm the way you live your life, so it doesn’t hurt to keep some distance from them as much as possible.
You never know when you may need them for something, so don’t completely shut them out of your life, but remember that these kinds of people often want to take advantage of others by gaining trust and then ultimately stealing from you in some form or another.
Always stand up for yourself, and do not allow anybody to step on you!
It’s important to always surround yourself with people who bring out the best in you instead of those who only focus on what is wrong with you or your ideas.
Friends and family members that are worth their weight in gold will encourage you even when things aren’t going well, which helps build self-esteem.
Positive role models.
It’s also good for men to establish relationships with positive role models, whether it’s someone you know personally or a public figure who you look up to. Sometimes it’s easy to overlook the good in life when all we see are the bad examples set by others, but this doesn’t mean they should be emulated!
There is no way around it: The company you keep significantly affects who you are as a person. If you spend time with negative, unproductive people, this will rub off on how you act and what kind of goals you will form.
Having positive influences is necessary if one wishes to live a long, healthy, thriving life! Now don’t get me wrong – nobody is perfect, and we all have our faults, but spending time with people who encourage us to be better men rather than dragging us down into the depths of despair will help us tremendously along the way.
So ask yourself: do your friends, and family members encourage you to be a better man or do they constantly complain about their own lives instead of trying to improve themselves?
If you’re spending most of your time with the latter, then it may be a good idea to gradually distance yourself from them by coming up with excuses as to why you can’t hang out. Life is too short to constantly hear people whine and complain about things that don’t concern you – save those conversations for when you are alone!
The 10 tips we’ve provided here should help you start thinking about what is most important in your life and how you can create a thriving future for yourself.
We want to hear from you as well — tell us in the comment section which of these principles resonates with you the most or if any other ways have helped make your life better.
Lenny Terra is the founder & editor-in-chief. He’s a life coach, software engineer, freelance writer, and has a diploma in Modern Applied Psychology. Lenny has a passion for great living & beautiful design. He is married and is the father of two beautiful girls. His life’s mission is to help people improve their lives, become happier and more productive. This blog is his contribution to that goal and to the empowerment of his readers. Lenny and his family live in Texas with their two dogs.